at least im not as sad as i used to be (or maybe i'm worst)

here i am
taking pills just to sit up straight
praying be to reborn
'cause i'm just a child and i can't wait 
to be petrified

every night i beg to be loved
a love that last forever
it's time to grow stronger and colder

do people even read these?
do they even listen to my voice when i sing?

if the dream is over, the dreamer is dead
if the dream is over, the dreamer is dead
if the dream is over, the dreamer is dead
if the dream is over, the dreamer is dead

jealousy is killing me
i wish i was dead
'cause i'm not good for you
and your pretty big heart

my insecurities hit hard
so much so hard
i'm killing myself tonight
'cause i know i'm not good for your
pretty big heart

wishing we could be lil bit older
wishing i could change
i'm scared
is this the monster i meant to be?
i hope you're crying for me

we took in all the knifes in winter
just to throw 'em away to you on summer
breathing in the breeze
that comes like a hammer

the world seems so upsetting
for the one who lives in colourful films
i live for her unrealistic dreams

searching for gold in mines
big black holes for big smiles
'cause you loved shaking this heart of mine
that became to be that violent
i believe you're trouble
lying down in silence