you taste like bad luck
and 2013's new year's eve
what could be the worst thing you could believe?
mom and dad are depressed too, can you see?

getting tired of dreaming so big but feeling so small
singing songs sbout how much i need you but somehow i never belonged
it seems that i'm sticked to the walls

i can't get away from the problems in my mind
theres not poetry in me

i'm far away from you
what am i supose to do?
the ashes of the fire that burned completely my soul still lie under my skin 
take care of this head for me
take care of this head for me

the hand behind this pen relives a failure every day

i'm lacking of sugar
and intelligent thoughs
i'm lacking of sunshine in my veins
i'm tired of taking you down
today i'd haven't been water on

you keep lighting my phone up
not pretending just confussed
take me to your fucking bed
im sick of thinking this

the chemicals in my veins leave more
to wish for
seeing this little town's lighs makes me feel 
less alive
dont worry,
i know i am the one who cries herself to sleep
all i do is drive 
onto a wall
i hope i arrive

pretty sure i found my god at the 4am
pretty sure i wasn't in none of you

we are not innocent anymore
wasted on the darkest lands
my ears are gonna explode someday

all your words came out on me like a broken machine
you have told these stories a hundred times
i will kill for a moment of clarity

i don't want the shit that you gave me
i'm weak
i will split them in pieces
you don't need them in your head now

i want to be better

on a blank white paper i'll never gonna draw you a smile
oh baby you're so mine 
but i couldn't care less
you are counting the days to be free
while i lie here couting the days to finally sleep

i got this little heart still beating
and i feel so sorry about that
i want to be better
i want to be better
i want to be better

pathetic at conversations,
not coming out for anybody
people say lot of things about me 
i can't say shit
she's got a new brand pill
only to find out that nothing is as shining as it seems

oh tragedy will find me

i want to be better
i want to be better
i want to be better
i want to be better
i want to be better
oh tragedy will

''i.
A NIGHTMARE THAT I REMEMBER.
YOU ARE IN THE GROCERY STORE
AND EVERYONE IS STARING AT ME
BECAUSE I DON’T DESERVE YOU.
AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN.

ii.
I AM THE ONE WHO KISSED
LONELINESS ON HIS TEETH.
I AM THE ONE WHO CLIMBED 
OUT OF HIS OPEN MOUTH.
HOW DARE YOU.

iii.
YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY HEART
I HAVE SWALLOWED.
YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY HAND
THAT FEELS LOVE BACKWARDS.''

Caitlyn Siehl, Four in the Morning